30 things to say during sex: a guide on how to talk in bed

Do you get tongue-tied when doing the deed? Knowing what to say during sex can be difficult, especially if it's new to you. 

During sex, saying specific, honest phrases can boost intimacy, connection, and pleasure. Try describing what feels good, expressing what you want, or giving a confident compliment. Phrases like “That feels amazing,” “I want you closer,” or “You taste good” work well. The key is to be clear, genuine, and in the moment.

But a little direction can make all the difference when thinking of things to say during sex. Whether you're trying to feel more confident, get closer to your partner, or just figure out what to say during sex without second-guessing yourself, this guide’s here to make it easier.

Contrary to what you may think, sexy things to say during sex don’t have to mean wild or raunchy right out of the gate. At its core, dirty talk is about communicating what feels good, what you want, and what turns you on. The key is figuring out what feels natural to you and building a connection with your partner, not copying something from a movie or a meme.

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How to ease into dirty talk

Just like physical intimacy can move from subtle to intense, so can verbal intimacy. What matters early on isn't how bold you are, but how present you are in the moment. When in doubt, let the mood lead, not the pressure to say something clever.

The best sexy things to say in bed are confident, focused, and suggestive. Try naturally combining praise, direction, and desire. Lines like “I’ve wanted this all day,” or “Right there, like that,” can be effective. Choose words that reflect what you feel and want, and how much you’re enjoying it.

Interestingly, research suggests women, especially those in same-gender relationships, tend to use more mutualistic sexual talk (which focuses on connection and shared pleasure) than men do. That kind of language can be especially helpful when you’re easing into dirty talk and want to stay emotionally in sync.

From there, it becomes easier to add more detail or intensity, if and when it feels right. Another option? Say something before sex. A casual compliment, a flirty comment, even a text earlier in the day. Sometimes it’s easier to start the engine outside of the bedroom.

Things to say during sex: The basics

If you’re wondering what counts as dirty talk, the truth is it’s a pretty broad category. The best way to figure out what to say is to notice what kind of language already exists between you. Are you playful with each other? Direct? More sensual or more sarcastic? The words that work best in bed are often just exaggerated versions of the tone you already share. 

Here’s what tends to work well:

• Observation: Saying what you’re feeling in the moment is one of the most natural ways to stay present and engaged. “That feels amazing,” “You’re driving me crazy,” or even a simple “God, yes” can help you stay connected and signal pleasure without overthinking.

• Encouragement: Letting your partner know they’re doing something right is both sexy and useful. “Just like that,” “Don’t stop,” or “Right there” tells them they’re on the right track. It keeps you both plugged into what’s happening and what your preferences are.

• Desire: Sharing what you want, either in the moment or before it happens, builds anticipation and trust. It can be as soft as “I want you closer” or as direct as “I want your hands everywhere.”

Tips on talking during sex

For a lot of people, talking during sex doesn’t come naturally, and that’s okay. Before we get into specific phrases, let’s talk about how to make sure the delivery lands.

Tip #1: Listen as much as you speak. Pay attention to your partner’s responses (both physical and verbal) and adjust as you go. If they seem more responsive when you whisper, keep it low. If they respond to a certain phrase, make a mental note of that.

Tip #2: Don’t let goof-ups get in the way. You might stumble over a word or say something that sounds awkward. It’s fine. Laugh it off and stay in the moment. That’s far sexier than getting stuck in your head.

Tip #3: Try it outside the bedroom first. If it’s hard to speak up during sex, try starting elsewhere, like through texting, voice notes, or flirty conversations. When the stakes feel lower, you can figure out what you’re comfortable with and what your partner might like.

Tip #4: Try saying it out loud to yourself. It’ll sound a bit funny, but if it absolutely doesn’t feel natural to you, skip it. The best things to say during sex are usually the ones that sound like you.

Tip #5: Talk about it when you're not having sex: A casual conversation, outside the moment, about what feels hot and what doesn’t can spare you a lot of guesswork. It can also make both of you feel safer trying new things when the time comes.

Tip #6: If you're nervous, say so. There’s a lot of confidence in vulnerability. Don’t worry about admitting that you're new to this or feeling unsure.

If you’re wondering what to say during sex without it feeling weird or over the top, here are some ideas.

1. “I’ve imagined doing so much to you.”

Perfect for when things are just starting to get hot and heavy. It’s just cryptic enough to make them want more. You don’t need to spell it out unless they ask, but it’s a great way to move into the dirty talk realm.

2. “This is so hot.”

Genuine surprise is sexy. This line breaks through the expected script of dirty talk and makes the moment feel spontaneous.

3. “You look so good like this, it’s messing with my head.”

Focus on their effect on you, not just their appearance. It keeps the attention on what’s happening now and not on generic looks-based praise.

4. “You’re even better than I imagined.”

Great for new partners, hookups you’ve been thinking about for a while, or moments when reality is beating expectations. It’s flattering without being overblown.

5. “You know exactly how to get me like this.”

It gives them credit directly. Not only are you turned on, but they’re the reason why.

6. “You look so good right now.”

It’s visual, reactive, and confident. This kind of compliment feels immediate and real, like you're genuinely struck by the sight of them in this exact moment.

7. “I’ve wanted this all day.”

This line carries built-in tension. It brings in anticipation and lets your partner know sex didn’t just happen; you’ve been looking forward to it. It also shifts the energy from passive to charged, without needing to be graphic.

8. “I can’t get enough of you.”

You’re letting them know you’re fully drawn in. It adds heat without being graphic, and it hits that sweet spot between desire and delight.

9. “I can’t even think straight right now.”

Sometimes the best thing you can say is that you’ve completely lost your cool. It’s a hot admission of being fully consumed.

10. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”

This one introduces a bit of mystery and ego-stroking. It’s got just enough restraint to keep it hot, but not gushy.

11. “I love the way you kiss me there.”

Kissing, touching, wherever “there” is. This is a flexible line that keeps things hot without spelling out every detail. You’re drawing attention to something without breaking the mood.

12. “You’re so good at this.”

Broad enough to work in almost any context, but the compliment hits hard. It adds confidence, creates momentum, and subtly invites them to keep showing off.

13. “Right there, just like that—don’t stop.”

You’re communicating what works and giving them validation at the same time. Whether it’s a hand, mouth, or rhythm thing, this keeps the momentum going exactly where it needs to.

14. “I love how your ____ feels against me.”

This gives just enough detail without getting clinical. Use it to highlight whatever part of them is making your body react. Hands, mouth, hips, chest, whatever.

15. “Come closer. I want to feel all of you.”

A physical cue disguised as an invitation. It’s about creating more contact, more pressure, and more intensity.

16. “I want to feel your mouth everywhere.”

Implied oral? Implied adoration? It’s the best of both. It’s specific without being graphic, and open-ended enough to keep it playful or intense.

17. “I want you on top of me.”

Or under, or next to, or whatever your fancy may be. It’s direct, clear, and easy to say without feeling awkward. It tells them exactly what position or shift you're craving.

18. “I want you to keep going until I tell you to stop.”

This one introduces a bit of control in a hot, consensual way. It adds anticipation, raises the stakes, and shows you’re tuned into the pacing and timing.

19. “I love when you take control.”

Affirming and arousing. A way to feed dominance back to your partner while keeping the dynamic charged and consensual.

20. “I want you on your knees.”

It’s assertive and precise. It's physical, it sets a tone, and it leaves very little to the imagination. Foreplay? Power play? Both.

21. “I want to taste you.”

Sensual, focused, and a little filthy. It’s a promise of endurance with a payoff—especially good if you’re about to go down on them and want to make it very clear.

22. “I’m going to kiss every inch of you.”

There are hot things to say in bed, and then there’s this. It’s not just about kissing, it’s about letting them know they’re about to get your full attention.

23. “I’m not stopping until you’re done.”

Direct, outcome-focused, and centered on your partner’s pleasure. This line turns pleasure into a game, with just enough tension to keep things hot.

24. “I’m going to make you come so hard you forget your name.”

Yes, it’s a bold claim. A fun exaggeration. But when delivered with confidence (and maybe a smirk), it sets a tone that’s hot, playful, and just cocky enough.

25. “I’m going to take my time with you, and I don’t care how long it takes.”

This line makes your partner feel like there’s nowhere else you’d rather be, and reassures them that you’re patient and focused on their pleasure.

26. “I’m going to put my mouth right there.”

Get creative with where “there” is. The power here is in the control. You’re not offering—you’re deciding.

27. “I can feel how much you want this.”

A little smug, a little feral. Whether it’s about wetness, hardness, movement, whatever, it’s you acknowledging just how far gone they are.

28. “You’re going to come for me, aren’t you?”

Out of all the things to say to her during sex, this one works because you’re not asking, you already know the answer. It involves some teasing and confidence.

29. “Say please if you want more.”

Dirty things to say during sex can sometimes involve a little work. You’re making them earn it, but in a way that’s playful and low stakes.

30. “Use me however you want.”

Submissive without being passive. It hands over the keys and lets your partner know you’re fully open to whatever happens next.

Absolutely. Talking during sex is just one tool in the box, and depending on your preferences, it might not even be the one that makes the biggest difference.

There are many other ways to keep things interesting (and satisfying):

Stretch out the foreplay. It’s easy to move fast when things are heating up, but sometimes slowing down is what makes it unforgettable. Take your time with kissing, teasing, touching, using your mouth—whatever gets both of you going.

Bring in a little backup. Sex toys aren’t just for solo play. A vibrator, cock ring, or stroker can add entirely new sensations and take the pressure off of you to do all the work. They’re also a great way to explore control, pleasure, or playfulness without needing a full plan.

Try something you’ve never done before. This doesn’t have to mean a major kink or a sex swing. It could be a new position, a blindfold, or a change in location. Novelty helps your brain register new excitement, and that can make things feel hotter, even if the change is small.

Use lube even when you don’t think you “need” it. Lube isn’t a sign that something’s wrong. It’s a tool to make everything feel better: more glide, less friction, and stronger sensation overall. Even when desire is high and everything’s working fine, lube can take things up a notch. Remember to keep it within reach, and don’t be stingy.

Dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED) or finishing too fast? You’ve got options. If things like ED or premature ejaculation (PE) are getting in the way of enjoying sex, you don’t have to just live with them. Treatments exist, and they’re more accessible than ever.

Whether you’re looking for fast-acting support like Ro Sparks*, something daily and discreet like Daily Rise Gummies*, or a way to delay ejaculation with Roman Swipes, there are options that actually work. A quick online consultation can help you figure out what fits your needs, so you can get back to feeling confident in bed.

If you’re open to it, talking to a pro can actually help. Not everything has to be fixed with a product. If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to ask for what you want, working with a certified sex therapist or counselor might help. This doesn’t have to mean something’s wrong; it just gives you another space to figure things out, judgment-free.

* Though these particular formulations are not FDA-approved, they’re composed of active ingredients that have been FDA-approved for erectile dysfunction.

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If dirty talk makes you nervous, that’s completely normal and just part of figuring it out. Avoiding it altogether might mean missing out on a powerful tool for connection, pleasure, and better sex. Figuring out the best things to say during sex just takes a little intention, some self-awareness, and the willingness to say what’s actually on your mind (or in your body). Here’s what to keep in mind:

• There’s no one way to do dirty talk. Clear feedback, confident direction, and well-placed praise can spice things up and keep you both in sync. What matters is that it fits your dynamic and feels honest in the moment.

• Start small and stay in the moment. You don’t need to be loud or graphic. A single, honest sentence said at the right time and in the right tone can be more powerful than anything scripted.

• Try it outside the bedroom first. Texting, voice notes, or flirty conversations can help you find your tone without the pressure of being face-to-face. It’s a low-stakes way to build confidence and figure out what feels good to say out loud.

• You don’t have to rely on words alone. Lube, foreplay, toys, and medications like Ro Sparks or Daily Rise Gummies can enhance the experience, especially if you’re dealing with ED, PE, or low confidence.

Good sex gets better with curiosity. Trying new things to say in bed can help deepen connection, build confidence, and make pleasure more intentional.