Masturbating before sex: does it make you last longer?

There are a lot of myths and folklore around ways to last longer in bed, but is masturbating before sex an idea that holds any water? It turns out, it might — at least for some people. 

Everyone responds differently, though, and for some people, it can worsen existing issues with getting or keeping an erection. 

Here’s a closer look at what’s happening in your body when you masturbate before sex, plus what research and experts have to say.

Yes — for some people, masturbating before sex does make you last longer, particularly if you struggle with PE.

“After orgasm, the body enters a refractory period, during which arousal and responsiveness temporarily decrease,” says Anna Elton, LMFT, a certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist. “This can make it easier to sustain control during a subsequent sexual encounter.” 

In other words, your body needs a little time to “reset,” and during that window, it may take longer to build back up to climax. For people who struggle with reaching orgasm  too quickly, this can be quite helpful. 

Here are a few ways masturbating before sex might help you avoid cumming so fast:

• It may reduce sensitivity: After orgasm, the body temporarily becomes less responsive to stimulation, which can slow how quickly you reach climax again.

• It can lower your starting arousal: Because arousal builds more slowly during the refractory period, you may not feel as close to the edge when sex begins.

• It may ease performance anxiety: If you’re worried about finishing too quickly, that pressure alone can speed things up. Masturbating beforehand can take some of that urgency off the table, which may help you feel more relaxed and in control.

• It can help you get familiar with your arousal patterns: Research shows that ejaculation timing is influenced by both physical and behavioral factors, meaning awareness of your own patterns can play a role in control.

That said, the effect varies, Elton adds. Some people feel more in control. Others notice lower arousal or less firmness, which can get in the way of lasting longer during sex.

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If you’re going to try masturbating before sex as a way to last longer, how you do it matters. Rushing through it or treating it like a quick fix usually won’t give you the same benefit as being a bit more intentional, according to Elton.

Here are her tips to make it more effective:

• Pay attention to timing: “For many, masturbating 1–3 hours before sex can help reduce sensitivity without significantly lowering arousal,” Elton says. Too close to sex, and you might not be able to get an erection as easily. Too far in advance, and the effect may wear off.

• Slow it down: Instead of rushing to finish, take your time. Slower stimulation can help you build awareness of how your arousal rises, which can make it easier to control during sex.

• Try edging: Edging involves getting close to orgasm, then stopping or slowing down before you reach it. Repeating this a few times can help you recognize the “point of no return” and build better control over time.

• Use it as a learning tool: Notice what types of stimulation push you closer to climax and how your body signals that you’re about to finish. That awareness can carry over into partnered sex.

• Avoid overdoing it: Masturbating too frequently or too close to sex can sometimes make it harder to get or maintain an erection. The goal is to take the edge off, not eliminate arousal entirely.

Whether or not you should masturbate before sex depends on your reaction to it. But it can certainly be worth a try, Elton says.

If you’re looking for a simple, low-effort way to potentially last longer, masturbating before sex is a reasonable option to try, she explains. For some people, it takes the edge off just enough to improve control without taking away from the experience when timed properly.

At the same time, it’s not right for everyone. According to Elton, the effect varies. In some cases, masturbating before sex can actually lower arousal or make it harder to maintain an erection. 

There’s also a relationship component to consider. “Imagine ‘snacking before dinner,’” Elton says. “If one partner masturbates in advance without communicating, they may enter the encounter with less desire or urgency, while the other partner is anticipating connection. That mismatch can create confusion or strain over time.”

That’s why context matters. If it helps you feel more confident and in control, it may be a useful tool. But if it leaves you feeling less engaged or less aroused, it’s probably best to focus on other strategies instead.

Masturbating before sex can help some people, but it’s just one option. If you’re looking for other ways to last longer — or just want strategies that feel more consistent — Elton says there are several other approaches worth trying.

Behavioral techniques

Techniques like edging are commonly recommended to improve control, according to Elton. The idea is to pause stimulation right as you’re getting close to climax, then resume once the sensation eases. Over time, this can help you better recognize and manage the point of no return.

Pelvic floor exercises

Research suggests that strengthening your pelvic floor muscles (the same muscles you use to stop urinating) may improve control over ejaculation. Practicing targeted contractions (often called Kegels) can help build awareness and control during sex.

Shifting focus during sex

Where your attention goes during sex can make a difference. “One helpful shift is moving attention away from performance and toward your partner’s experience,” Elton says. Focusing on your partner’s pleasure can reduce pressure and naturally slow things down, which may help you last longer.

Addressing anxiety and pressure

Similarly, psychological factors — like performance anxiety or overthinking — can play a big role in premature ejaculation. Strategies that help you stay present, like slowing down, focusing on sensation, and talking openly with your partner about what’s happening, can make a meaningful difference.

“A longer encounter isn’t always the goal,” Elton says. “Alignment around expectations, timing, and emotional connection tends to matter more than duration alone.”

Medical treatments

If premature ejaculation is a regular concern, medical options may help. Topical desensitizing products are one popular option, such as Ro Swipes. There are also premature ejaculation pill options that are sometimes prescribed off-label for PE, including certain prescription antidepressants and pain medications that can delay ejaculation.

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Masturbating before sex can help some people last longer in bed. But it’s not a guaranteed fix, and it doesn’t work the same for everyone. What matters most is finding an approach that actually improves your experience, not just checking a box. Here’s what to keep in mind:

• Masturbating beforehand may help you last longer by lowering sensitivity and slowing arousal, but timing plays a big role.

• The effect varies from person to person. Some people feel more in control, while others notice lower arousal or less firmness.

• Techniques like edging and pelvic floor exercises can offer more consistent control over time.

• Psychological factors like stress and performance pressure can speed things up, so addressing those can make a real difference.

• If it’s an ongoing issue, treatments like desensitizing products or prescription medications may help.