Orgasm control: what it is and how to try edging for better sex

If you've heard about orgasm control and wondered what it actually involves, you're not alone. This practice — also called edging — has become more widely discussed as people look for ways to improve their sexual experiences and address concerns like finishing too quickly.

Orgasm control isn't complicated, but it does require patience and body awareness. This guide answers the questions, “What is edging?” and “How does it work?” We’ll also cover the techniques that actually help and the benefits (and potential downsides) that come with the practice.

Orgasm control is the practice of deliberately delaying orgasm by stopping or reducing stimulation right before you reach the point of no return. The goal can be to extend sexual pleasure and potentially make the eventual orgasm more intense.

This practice is also called edging because you bring yourself to the "edge" of orgasm multiple times without going over. You build arousal, back off, build it again, and repeat the cycle several times before finally allowing yourself to finish.

People of any gender can practice controlled orgasm, either alone during masturbation or with a partner during sex.

The specific techniques vary depending on your anatomy and what type of stimulation you're using. The basic principle stays the same, though: recognize when orgasm is approaching, then pause or change what you're doing.

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Sexual arousal follows predictable stages. Understanding these stages is key to practicing orgasm control effectively.

Research shows that sexual response starts in the brain, which signals your nervous system to trigger physical changes like an erection or vaginal lubrication.

As arousal builds, you move through excitement and plateau phases before reaching orgasm.

The "point of no return" is the moment when orgasm becomes inevitable. With edging, you learn to recognize the physical sensations that signal you're approaching this threshold.

You might notice signs like your muscles tensing up or rhythmic movement. When you feel this way, you stop or dramatically reduce stimulation until arousal drops slightly, then start building again until you are ready for orgasm.

People try edging orgasms for several reasons, most of which relate to either improving sexual performance or enhancing pleasure.

Longer-lasting sex

One of the most common reasons people practice orgasm control is to extend how long sex lasts. This is particularly relevant for people dealing with premature ejaculation (PE).

The stop-start technique (a form of edging) is a recognized behavioral treatment for PE. By repeatedly practicing the pause before orgasm, you develop better awareness of your arousal level and more control over your timing.

Over time, this practice can help you last longer during partnered sex without needing to stop completely. You learn to modulate your arousal instead of racing toward orgasm.

More intense orgasms

Many people report that edging can make orgasms feel more powerful. The repeated buildup of arousal without release can create a kind of pressure that, when finally released, may result in a stronger climax.

There isn't extensive research specifically studying whether edged orgasms are objectively more intense, and your individual experience may vary. But the physiological explanation makes sense:

• Prolonged arousal increases blood flow in the genital area. 

• When orgasm finally happens, the release of that built-up tension can feel more dramatic for some people.

Better body awareness

Edging forces you to pay close attention to your body's signals. As a result, you can become more attuned to what different levels of arousal feel like and what touches or movements increase or decrease arousal.

This self-knowledge often translates into better sex overall, whether or not you're practicing edging.

Enhanced partner connection

When practiced with a partner, edging requires clear communication about what you're feeling and what you need. This communication can strengthen intimacy, which is more likely to result in better sex overall.

You're essentially sharing a vulnerable experience, stopping pleasure right before its peak, and trusting your partner to help you navigate that process. The collaboration involved can create a deeper sense of connection.

Edging techniques vary depending on whether you're practicing alone or with a partner and what type of stimulation you're using.

1. Stop-start method

The stop-start method is considered a foundational edging technique and can work for people of any gender.

Solo practice: Start by masturbating as you normally would. Pay close attention to how arousal builds and what physical sensations go along with different levels of excitement.

When you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, stop all stimulation completely. Wait a few moments for arousal to drop slightly. You're not trying to lose your arousal entirely, just bring it down from the peak.

Once you feel more in control, start again. Repeat this cycle a few times before allowing yourself to fully let go and orgasm.

The key is learning to recognize the moment before you reach the point of no return. If you wait too long to slow down stimulation, you'll orgasm anyway. Practice helps you identify the right timing.

With a partner: Communicate clearly about what you're trying to do. Let your partner know you'll tell them when to stop or slow down.

During sex, pay attention to your arousal level. When you're getting close, say "stop" or use an agreed-upon signal. Your partner should immediately stop movement or reduce intensity so you can delay your orgasm.

After a few moments, resume. Repeat the cycle several times until you are ready to orgasm. This requires trust and clear communication, as your partner needs to respond quickly to your cues.

2. Squeeze technique 

This method is specifically designed for people with penises and is another clinically recognized approach for managing PE.

When you feel an orgasm approaching, you or your partner firmly squeezes the head of the penis (just below the glans) for several seconds. This temporarily reduces arousal and delays ejaculation.

After that, you can get back to having sex. The squeeze can be repeated multiple times before allowing ejaculation, depending on your comfort level. This technique works by temporarily interrupting the reflex that leads to ejaculation, giving you more control over your timing.

3. Edging techniques for people with vaginas

For people with vaginas, edging typically focuses on clitoral stimulation since that's how most people with vaginas reach orgasm.

Use your fingers, a partner's mouth or hands, or a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris. As you approach orgasm, you might feel intense pleasure and muscle contractions. When you recognize these signs, stop or move the stimulation away from the clitoris to a less sensitive area.

You can switch to stimulating the labia, inner thighs, or other erogenous zones while arousal drops slightly. After a few moments, return to direct clitoral stimulation.

You can also incorporate internal stimulation (G-spot or vaginal) into your edging practice, alternating between external and internal touch to spice things up.

4. Using sex toys for orgasm control

Vibrators and other toys can be helpful for edging because they provide consistent, controllable stimulation.

• For people with penises, strokers or masturbation sleeves allow you to practice the stop-start method with sensations that more closely mimic partnered sex. 

• For people with vaginas, vibrators provide the intense, steady stimulation that can be helpful to become familiar with the signs of orgasm.

The advantage of toys is that you can control the intensity precisely. Many vibrators have multiple speed settings, allowing you to reduce intensity for periods of time rather than stopping completely, which can make the edging process smoother.

There's no fixed rule for how long edging sessions should last. It depends on your goals, your body, and what feels good.

For treating PE, clinical recommendations suggest practicing these techniques for about 15 minutes. This can give you enough time to go through several cycles of building and backing off.

For enhancing pleasure, some people edge for 10–15 minutes, while others extend sessions for 30 minutes or longer. The important thing is to listen to your body and stop if it becomes frustrating or uncomfortable, rather than pleasurable.

Recognizing the right moment to stop edging and allow orgasm is important. The goal is enhanced pleasure, not endless frustration.

You can try a few cycles of edging (building close to orgasm and backing off), which will likely give you the intensity boost you’re looking for without creating discomfort. After that, allowing yourself to finish usually results in a satisfying release.

If you find yourself getting frustrated, losing arousal entirely, or no longer enjoying the process, it's time to either finish or stop the session. Edging should feel like playful exploration, not a test of endurance.

While potentially more intense orgasms and longer-lasting sex are the main draws, edging offers additional benefits, such as:

• PE management: The stop-start technique is a proven behavioral approach for PE. Regular practice can help you develop better ejaculatory control, which can reduce anxiety around sexual performance.

• Sexual confidence: Learning that you can control your arousal and timing often reduces performance anxiety. Instead of worrying about finishing too quickly, you develop trust in your ability to modulate your response over time.

• Mindfulness during sex: Edging requires you to stay present and pay attention to subtle body signals. This mindfulness can improve your overall sexual experiences by keeping you engaged and aware rather than mentally checked out or rushing toward the finish.

• Better communication: Practicing edging with a partner requires ongoing dialogue about what you're feeling and what you need. This communication skill often improves other aspects of your sex life as well.

Even with good intentions, certain approaches can undermine the benefits of edging. Common mistakes include:

• Going too long: Pushing yourself to the edge for extended periods of time can lead to frustration or discomfort, or even complete loss of arousal. If it stops feeling good, it's time to finish or stop.

• Not communicating with your partner: If you're edging during partnered sex but not telling your partner what you're doing or when to stop, they can't help you. Clear communication is essential.

• Creating pressure: Treating edging as a test you must pass, or thinking "I have to edge for X minutes" or "I have to do X number of cycles" defeats the purpose. The point is enhanced pleasure, not numerical achievements.

• Ignoring body signals: If your body is telling you something doesn't feel right, like if you're experiencing pain, losing sensitivity, or feeling increasingly frustrated, listen to those signals and adjust or stop accordingly.

For most people, edging doesn't cause problems once they know how to do it properly. But there are a few potential side effects to be aware of:

1. "Blue balls" (epididymal hypertension): This refers to discomfort in the testicles after prolonged arousal without ejaculation. It's caused by blood pooling in the genitals and usually resolves on its own, even if you don’t ejaculate.

While uncomfortable, it's not typically dangerous. If it bothers you, either ejaculate to release the pressure or wait for arousal to subside naturally.

2. Delayed ejaculation concerns: Some people worry that practicing edging too frequently will make it harder to orgasm when they want to. There's no strong evidence that this happens from occasional edging practice.

However, if you find yourself unable to orgasm during partnered sex after extensive solo edging, you may need to vary your routine or reduce how often you edge.

3. When edging becomes problematic: If edging starts to feel compulsive, where you can't enjoy sex without it, or you're spending excessive time edging that interferes with daily life, it’s worth talking to a healthcare provider or a sex therapist.

Stop edging if you experience pain, genital numbness that doesn't resolve quickly, or significant anxiety around the practice. 

You should also limit the total amount of time you have an erection. Having an erection for too long can cause damage to the penis. If you experience an erection for longer than four hours (priapism), seek emergency medical attention because it is a medical emergency.

Orgasm control techniques, specifically the stop-start method and squeeze technique, can be useful treatments for PE.

Research supports these practices as effective approaches for helping people develop better ejaculatory control. They can teach you to recognize and respond to the physical sensations that precede ejaculation, giving you more control over your timing.

If you aren’t sure how to start with orgasm control, practice the stop-start technique during solo masturbation first. Once you've developed better awareness and control, you may be better equipped to incorporate it into partnered sex.

You can also try behavioral techniques with other treatments, such as topical desensitizers, to help with PE.

Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation can complicate edging practice. 

For people with ED, it can be harder to practice edging if you can’t maintain your erection. This can make the practice frustrating rather than pleasurable.

PDE5 inhibitors like sildenafil or tadalafil can help you treat ED and maintain erections more consistently. This can also make the stop-start method easier to practice. 

If pills don’t work for you, some PDE5 inhibitors can also be found in non-pill formulations. Ro Sparks, for example, is a sublingual lozenge that contains sildenafil. And Daily Rise Gummies are fruit-flavored gummies with daily tadalafil.*

If you have PE and feel like behavioral techniques alone aren't enough, Roman Swipes are topical wipes that can reduce sensitivity and help you last longer while you're developing better ejaculatory control.

Your healthcare provider can help you weigh the pros and cons of each option to find the one that fits your needs and preferences best. 

Getting treatment through Ro is straightforward: Complete an online health questionnaire, get evaluated by a licensed healthcare provider and, if prescribed, receive medication discreetly at your door approximately a few days later.

* Though this particular formulation isn’t approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for ED, its active ingredients have been individually FDA-approved for the treatment of ED.

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Orgasm control, or edging, is a practice that can potentially improve sexual pleasure and stamina. It can also help you develop better awareness of your body's responses. Here's what matters most:

• Edging works by building arousal close to orgasm, then backing off. The key is learning to recognize the "point of no return" and stopping just before you reach it. This creates buildup that can make the eventual orgasm more intense.

• The stop-start technique is clinically recognized as a behavioral treatment for PE. Regular practice can help you develop better ejaculatory control and reduce performance anxiety.

• Edging can be practiced alone or with a partner. The techniques may vary, but the principle is the same: modulate your arousal by pausing or reducing stimulation before orgasm.

• Listen to your body. If edging stops feeling good and becomes frustrating or uncomfortable, it's time to either finish or stop. The goal is enhanced pleasure, not endurance.

• Sexual performance issues can complicate edging. If ED or PE is interfering with your ability to practice orgasm control, consult a healthcare provider — treatment options are available that may help.

Edging isn't for everyone, and it doesn't need to be part of every sexual encounter. But for people interested in exploring their arousal, or potentially intensifying their orgasms, it's a technique worth trying.