Why do I cum so fast? 12 ways to prevent premature ejaculation

Ejaculating too quickly, or premature ejaculation, can be caused by psychological or physical factors. Anxiety, stress, and relationship issues are common psychological triggers. Physically, heightened sensitivity or hormonal imbalances may contribute. Identifying the cause can help answer “why do I cum so fast?” and suggest treatments.

You’re probably here because you want to help improve your sex life. The good news is that there are many things you can do to increase your sexual stamina and postpone ejaculation. With honest communication, simple techniques, and the right support, it’s possible to improve control and make sex more satisfying for both you and your partner.

Read on for more medical and non-medical ways to slow ejaculation. 

Cumming too fast usually means finishing before you want to, often within seconds or shortly after sex begins. For many, it can feel frustrating, embarrassing, or like sex ends before it even really starts.

The technical term for this is premature ejaculation (PE), and it’s technically defined as usually ejaculating within one minute or less of penetration. That one-minute marker helps healthcare providers diagnose the condition, but in day-to-day life, PE is more about a lack of control. If you regularly climax before you feel ready and can’t seem to delay it even when you try, it can be a sign of PE.

This isn’t rare. In fact, PE is one of the most common sexual issues among those assigned male at birth (i.e. men), affecting roughly 30%. However, it may impact even more people who feel too ashamed or embarrassed to report it to their healthcare providers.

If you’ve been googling “how to not nut fast,” different techniques can help. Try things like the stop-start method, squeeze technique, or Kegel exercises. Using thicker condoms and topical products can reduce sensitivity. Managing anxiety, masturbating before sex, or extending foreplay may also help improve control.

With practice and consistency, many people see lasting improvement in ejaculation timing.

Remember, this is something many people deal with. Whether the issue is new or something you’ve always struggled with, help is out there, and you’re not stuck with it.

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If you’re looking for how to not cum as fast, here are several proven behavioral techniques and medication options that may help. With regular attempts and patience, many people gain better control and improve their sexual confidence.

Behavioral techniques

1. Pelvic floor exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegels, are often talked about in the context of vaginal health, but they’re helpful for those with a penis, too.

How it works: Kegels may actually help you last longer in bed by strengthening the muscles involved in orgasm.

A review of clinical studies found that pelvic floor muscle training can improve symptoms of PE and erectile dysfunction (ED), especially in people without underlying neurological issues or past major urological surgery. Across multiple trials, most participants saw improvements in timing and control, though the exact training protocols varied.

How to do them: You can do Kegels standing, sitting, lying down, or even while walking. The key is to contract the pelvic floor muscles, the same ones you’d use to stop the flow of urine or hold in gas. You might notice the base of your penis move slightly toward your abdomen or your testicles lift.

• Tighten those muscles and hold the contraction for a few seconds (start with 3–5 seconds, then gradually work up to 10).

• Release and rest for the same amount of time.

• Aim for three strong contractions in the morning and three in the evening, in different positions (standing, sitting, or lying down).

• Avoid squeezing your abs, thighs, or butt, and remember to breathe normally.

While there’s no single “perfect” routine, doing Kegels consistently may help you gain better control over when you cum. It’s a low-risk, no-pill option that could be worth trying.

2. Stop-start technique

The stop-start technique is one of the simplest and most effective ways to build control over when you cum, and you can practice it without medication or fancy tools.

How it works: During sex or masturbation, you pause stimulation right before you feel like you're about to orgasm. Then, you wait for the urge to pass before starting again. Repeating this a few times can help train your body to delay ejaculation over time.

In a recent clinical study, people who used the stop-start technique saw improvements in how long they lasted during sex. The study measured how long they could go before ejaculating and found that it increased significantly over several months of practice.

While it may take a few sessions to get the hang of it, with consistent practice, this technique can be helpful. It may suit those wondering how not to cum as fast without turning to medication right away.

3. Squeeze technique

The squeeze technique is another hands-on method you can try to help delay ejaculation, and it’s been around for decades.

How it works: You or your partner stimulate the penis until you’re just about to climax. Then, using your thumb and index finger, gently squeeze the head of the penis where it meets the shaft for a few seconds. Once the urge to ejaculate has passed, you can start again. Repeat this a few times in a row to help your body build better control.

This technique was first introduced in the 1950s and later refined by sex researchers Masters and Johnson. The idea is that by stopping stimulation and applying light pressure right before orgasm, you can learn to recognize the signals your body sends just before ejaculation—and slow things down.

While it may take a little practice (and patience), some people find that the squeeze technique helps delay climax during sex. It’s especially helpful if you're trying to understand your arousal patterns and are looking for physical ways to learn how to not cum as fast.

4. Thicker condoms

Thickened condoms may help reduce sensitivity and make it easier to delay ejaculation.

How it works: These condoms are slightly thicker-walled than regular ones, enabling them to dull overstimulation and give you more control over when you finish.

In a clinical study, those with PE who used thickened condoms saw an increase in both erection time and ejaculation latency, meaning they lasted longer during sex.

They also showed less sensitivity in the penis, which researchers believe may contribute to better control. While some people found thickened condoms less comfortable, many still reported higher satisfaction overall compared to standard condoms.

It's a simple, low-risk option to try, especially if you’re trying to figure out how not to ejaculate quickly and want a little extra buffer during penetration.

5. Sensate focus exercises

Sensate focus is a step-by-step technique designed to reduce pressure during sex and help build better awareness of physical sensations without the goal of orgasm right away.

How it works: It starts with you and your partner focusing only on non-genital touch. The idea is to slow down and reconnect with your body and your partner, without worrying about performance. Over time, you gradually reintroduce genital touch and eventually intercourse, but always at your own pace.

The goal is to reduce anxiety, improve body awareness, and increase pleasure, not just for one person, but for both partners.

Sensate focus may not work overnight, but if you’re dealing with anxiety around cumming too fast or feeling disconnected during sex, this technique could be worth exploring together. It’s a pressure-free way to get back in sync. 

6. Counseling and therapy

Learning more about PE and actually talking about it can take a huge weight off your shoulders.

PE often comes with a mix of emotions: anxiety, embarrassment, frustration, and sometimes even shame. That mental load can make it harder to enjoy sex or feel confident in your body. But understanding what’s happening and communicating openly with your partner can start to change that.

In fact, therapy is often the first recommended step for people dealing with performance anxiety, low sexual confidence, or what’s called subjective PE, where the timing may actually be within a normal range, but still “feels too fast.”

How it works: Short-term therapy approaches often combine cognitive, behavioral, and relationship-focused techniques. These can help you:

• Learn strategies to delay ejaculation

• Build confidence during sex

• Reduce performance anxiety

• Address rigid sexual habits that aren’t working

• Work through relationship stress and emotional disconnect

• Identify and shift unhelpful thoughts that get in the way of sexual function

A big part of this process is simply talking honestly with a therapist, a partner, or both. 

7. Extended foreplay

Taking more time with foreplay can help ease performance pressure and enhance overall intimacy, especially if you’re trying to figure out how to not nut fast.

How it works: Foreplay includes activities like kissing, touching, oral sex, and teasing—all of which can build arousal slowly and shift the focus away from rushing to penetration. This slower pace gives your body more time to adjust and helps reduce the urgency that often leads to premature ejaculation.

It may also give your partner a better chance of reaching orgasm. Research shows that most people assigned female at birth don’t reliably orgasm from penetration alone. In fact, in one US survey of over 1,000 women, only about 18% said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm. Instead, over 70% said clitoral stimulation was either necessary or significantly enhanced their experience.

Another study found that those with a vagina were far more likely to report orgasming during intercourse when clitoral stimulation was involved, compared to when it wasn’t. Yet many people interpret “intercourse” to mean different things, leading to mismatched expectations between partners.

For those dealing with PE, extending foreplay can reduce the pressure to “perform” and give your body time to build arousal at a more controlled pace. At the same time, it increases connection and enjoyment for your partner. It’s a win-win that makes sex more about mutual pleasure and less about racing to the finish.

8. Masturbation before sex

For some people, timing can make all the difference. Masturbating or having sex once before the main event may help you last longer the second time around.

How it works: This approach takes advantage of the refractory period—the natural window after ejaculation when arousal takes longer and climax may be delayed. The idea is to have your first ejaculation (either solo or with a partner), then wait about an hour before going again.

That break gives your body time to reset, and for many people, the second round is less sensitive and more controllable. Just keep in mind, the timing isn’t a fixed recommendation. Some people may need more or less time to feel ready again, and trying too soon could result in low arousal or no erection at all.

If that happens, it doesn’t mean the method doesn’t work—it just might need a little tweaking. Like most PE techniques, it can take some experimentation to figure out what feels right for you.

Medication options

9. Topical anesthetics

Topical anesthetics are creams or sprays applied to the penis before sex to reduce sensitivity, which may help some people last longer. Products like lidocaine-prilocaine cream (often sold as EMLA) or similar sprays have been studied for PE.

How it works: By slightly numbing the skin, these treatments can dull sensation just enough to delay ejaculation without completely removing pleasure. A good example of this is Roman Swipes. They contain 4% benzocaine and are applied directly to the penis a few minutes before sex.

Clinical studies suggest that topical anesthetics may improve ejaculatory latency time (how long you last during intercourse) compared to a placebo. Some evidence even shows they might have fewer side effects than certain oral medications, like sildenafil or paroxetine, in some cases. Still, it’s important to note that most studies do not compare the medications head-to-head. 

That said, they’re not perfect. Some products have been linked to mild side effects, like decreased sensitivity, including for your partner. It’s usually recommended to apply them 10 to 15 minutes before sex and wipe off any excess before penetration.

10. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are one of the most commonly used medications for PE, even though they’re primarily prescribed as antidepressants.

While there’s currently no US Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved drug for PE in the US, SSRIs like sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine, citalopram, and escitalopram are often prescribed off-label.

How it works: These medications work by increasing serotonin levels in the brain, which can help delay ejaculation in some people.

Research shows that SSRIs may significantly increase the time it takes to ejaculate, and some people notice results within the first week or two of starting treatment. However, it usually takes two to four weeks for the full effects to kick in.

For those who don’t respond well to first-line SSRIs, clomipramine (a different type of antidepressant with strong serotonin effects) is sometimes used as a second option.

Most SSRIs are typically taken daily, but some people prefer using them only 3-5 hours before sex. That said, on-demand use may not be as effective for delaying ejaculation. Common side effects can include lower libido and erectile issues, though not everyone experiences these.

11. Tramadol

Tramadol is a prescription pain medication that’s sometimes used off-label to treat PE, although it’s generally not the first option.

How it works: Tramadol can change the way your brain sends and receives “feel-good” signals. By slowing those signals down, it can also slow the reflex that makes ejaculation happen, giving you more time before you climax. Research shows that when taken about two hours before sex, tramadol may extend the time to ejaculation, improve control, and increase sexual satisfaction.

Tramadol is usually only considered after other treatments like SSRIs or clomipramine haven’t worked. Because it acts on the brain’s opioid system, it comes with a risk of side effects like nausea, dizziness, or fatigue, and there’s also potential for dependence.

12. Phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors

Medications like sildenafil (Viagra) and tadalafil (Cialis) are best known for treating ED, but they may also help some people last longer in bed.

Although they’re not officially approved to treat PE, PDE5 inhibitors are sometimes prescribed off-label. 

How it works: PDE5 inhibitors work by improving blood flow to the penis, which can help with erections. But there’s also evidence that they may delay ejaculation, especially in people who experience both PE and erection issues.

In clinical studies, people who took sildenafil reported feeling more in control of when they climaxed, shorter recovery times after sex, and higher sexual confidence overall. The response may also not be direct–instead, they may help increase your confidence to maintain an erection, leading to less rushed sex. 

On their own, PDE5 inhibitors may not work better than SSRIs for PE. But when used together with an SSRI, the combination appears to be more effective than either treatment alone, improving both ejaculatory timing and sexual satisfaction.

People dealing with both PE and ED, or who feel that anxiety around performance is part of the issue, might find it worthwhile to discuss with their healthcare provider.

If you’ve ever thought, “I came too fast,” you’re probably not the only one wondering what happened—and there’s usually more going on than just bad timing. 

Ejaculation might feel simple, but behind the scenes, it’s actually a very complex process involving your brain, nerves, muscles, and hormones, all working in a split-second sequence.

Here’s the short version: when you get aroused, your nervous system activates a spinal reflex that controls ejaculation. This reflex lives in your lower spine, and it coordinates a series of physical responses like moving semen into position, tightening muscles to keep it from going backward into the bladder, and finally pushing it out through rhythmic muscle contractions.

The emission phase prepares the semen, and the expulsion phase releases the semen. The expulsion part is mostly automatic. Once your body crosses the “point of no return,” there’s usually no stopping it.

So, what causes some people to cum faster than they’d like? For one, heightened sensitivity either in the nerves or pelvic muscles can trigger this reflex more quickly. Anxiety or mental pressure can also speed things up, because the brain plays a big role in sexual response.

But sometimes, it’s just how your body is wired. Even muscle coordination in the pelvic floor matters. If those muscles are overactive or hard to control, ejaculation might happen sooner. Understanding that this isn’t just about willpower can be a huge relief. It’s a physical reflex, not a failure, and there are ways to train your body to respond differently.

It’s totally normal to ask yourself questions like, “Why do I cum so quick?” especially if it’s affecting your confidence or sex life. You might feel unsure and wonder how to tell what “too fast” really means.

While there’s no single right amount of time, healthcare providers often look at something called intravaginal ejaculation latency time, or the time from penetration to ejaculation.

If you consistently ejaculate in under one minute, it may be considered primary PE, especially if it’s been that way since your first sexual experiences. If the issue started later in life, and you tend to last under three minutes, it may be secondary PE, often caused by changes in mental health, relationships, or physical health.

For others, it might only happen in certain circumstances, like with specific partners or stimulation. That’s called situational PE, and it can be just as frustrating. And then there are people who feel out of control even though their timing is technically normal. This is sometimes called premature-like PE.

There’s also a scale of severity for ejaculation timing:

• Mild: about 30–60 seconds after penetration

• Moderate: about 15–30 seconds after penetration

• Severe: within 15 seconds of penetration or before it, or during foreplay

If any of this sounds familiar, it might be time to talk to a healthcare provider. PE is extremely common, and more importantly, it’s treatable. Getting clarity is the first step toward feeling more in control.

Premature ejaculation diagnosis

Diagnosing PE usually starts with a conversation, not a test. There are no labs or scans specifically needed to confirm PE. Instead, a healthcare provider will ask about your overall health, sexual history, and how often the issue happens, to get a complete picture.

This might include questions like:

• How long do you usually last during sex?

• Does it happen with every partner or only sometimes?

• Has it always been this way, or did it start recently?

• How is it affecting your relationships, confidence, or sex life?

Most of the time, this discussion is enough to make a diagnosis. But in some cases, additional steps may be taken, especially if there are other symptoms like trouble getting or keeping an erection, low sex drive, or extreme anxiety.

For example, a provider might check your thyroid levels or testosterone, especially if they suspect hormonal issues. That said, even if testosterone is low, boosting it doesn’t usually solve PE on its own.

Because PE is often tied to psychological factors like anxiety, stress, or early negative experiences, mental health plays a big role in the diagnosis, too. A referral to a specialist, like a psychologist or sex therapist, can help uncover emotional or behavioral patterns that might be contributing to the problem.

Keep in mind, this isn’t about being judged. It’s part of standard care, and the goal is to understand the full picture so the treatment plan actually works for you. Many people dealing with PE also carry feelings of frustration, shame, or self-doubt. A mental health evaluation helps bring those issues to light and creates space to treat the root of the problem, not just the symptoms.

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If you tend to cum faster than you'd like, it can be frustrating, confusing, or even isolating. But there are proven ways to manage it. With the right mix of techniques, treatments, and a bit of patience, it's possible to improve control and feel more confident during sex.

The next time you ask yourself, “why do I cum so fast?” take a moment to consider several things that can help:

• Medications can help delay ejaculation: SSRIs and certain ED medications like sildenafil are frequently used off-label to treat PE. These can improve control and satisfaction, especially when tailored to your specific symptoms.

• Combining therapies can increase your chances of success: Using medications like an SSRI along with a PDE5 inhibitor may offer better results than either one alone, especially if you’re dealing with both PE and erection concerns.

• Behavioral techniques may help you build control naturally: Methods like the stop-start technique, squeeze technique, and pelvic floor training can build awareness and improve control during sex. They take practice but can be very effective.

• Topical products and thicker condoms can reduce sensitivity: Lidocaine-based sprays and creams, or even thickened condoms, can dull sensation and help you last longer.

• Mental health and communication matter more than you think: Stress, anxiety, and relationship issues can fuel PE. Therapy or simply talking openly with your partner can go a long way in reducing pressure and improving sexual confidence.

• Consistency is key: Most medications and behavioral techniques don’t work overnight. But with consistency and the right combination of approaches, many people see lasting improvements.

PE doesn’t have to define your sex life. With patience and the right support, you can regain control and feel more confident in the bedroom.